I’m sick again (still?). As I wrote last week, I’ve had a lingering cough for going on two weeks. I visited urgent care and received a non-specific diagnosis, but they gave me an inhaler and said to come back if I wasn’t better in a week or two. On Wednesday or Thursday, I came down with a regular cold. It’s manageable, and I’m hoping it knocks whatever the cough was out of my system, but it feels like I can’t catch a break. Joe has been sick too, so we’ve been barely making it by; the house is messy and there are a lot of projects that I’d like to get to, but neither of us have felt up it.
This week has been rough. As I wrote last week, I was out sick from work three days, so all this week I’ve been playing catch up — trying to dig myself out of the hole while also keeping head above water with everything new that’s happening1. The group of kids I have this year are really likeable, but they’re incredibly immature. I’m dealing with a lot of classroom management challenges, which has rarely been an issue for me2. I’m struggling to keep them in their seats and have a coherent lesson without interruptions. One class in particular is incredibly challenging and it’s really starting to wear on me. I love what I do, in a general sense, but lately, I’m not happy to go to work. I dread the middle portion of my day in particular (tough class and then immediately into lunch duty). The highlights have been few and far between; I’m constantly disappointed in myself that I’m not doing a better job even though I know a lot of these struggles are bigger than me and my classroom. On top of that, I’ve had a bunch of not fun expenses crop up this week — a $2500 repair bill on my car, we had our septic tank pumped, and we’re trying to get a plumber in because our shower drain isn’t draining — and other adult shit3. All in, this week has been filled with an overwhelming number of stressors piling together.
I missed a week, so consider this two weeks of week notes.
Doing
I was dead sick this week; I missed three days of work to some kind of upper respiratory illness that’s going around the school. I haven’t been sick in months, so maybe that’s a part of it, but this genuinely kicked me on my ass, and my mom ingrained workaholic tendencies in me so severe that I feel guilty taking sick days. Alas, I am continuously humbled by the reality of existing in a human body.
This was the first full week of school, so naturally that consumed most of my time. Things are going well enough so far; I have one class that’s really challenging, but the rest are smooth sailing.
I saw an optometrist for the first time in my life this week; I noticed last year that I was having trouble seeing the board at the front of my classroom toward the end of the day. I thought it might just be fatigue, but Joe encouraged me to make an appointment even so considering I’ve never been. Apparently I have crossed a new threshold of old age and now need readers. I’ve insisted for years that I want glasses, that I feel they suit my face and personality, but the moment the doctor asked me “Do you want someone to help you pick out glasses today?” I was immediately confronted with my hubris and regretted all previous comments. The pair I ordered haven’t come in yet, so expect a further meltdown next week.