I’m doing better this week than last. I finally feel like I’m getting above water on my work, so I’ve been coming home at better times.1 Part of it is that I’ve accepted that my students this year are incredibly behind in their reading and writing skills and I have slowed my instruction way down as a result — not to “dumb it down” but to build good, strong foundations for them. I can’t just pass the problem along to the next grade. This probably means that we’re not going to get through the same amount of content as I usually do in an instructional year, but I’m lucky in that I teach a skills subject, not a content subject.2
I’m sick again (still?). As I wrote last week, I’ve had a lingering cough for going on two weeks. I visited urgent care and received a non-specific diagnosis, but they gave me an inhaler and said to come back if I wasn’t better in a week or two. On Wednesday or Thursday, I came down with a regular cold. It’s manageable, and I’m hoping it knocks whatever the cough was out of my system, but it feels like I can’t catch a break. Joe has been sick too, so we’ve been barely making it by; the house is messy and there are a lot of projects that I’d like to get to, but neither of us have felt up it.
This week has been rough. As I wrote last week, I was out sick from work three days, so all this week I’ve been playing catch up — trying to dig myself out of the hole while also keeping head above water with everything new that’s happening1. The group of kids I have this year are really likeable, but they’re incredibly immature. I’m dealing with a lot of classroom management challenges, which has rarely been an issue for me2. I’m struggling to keep them in their seats and have a coherent lesson without interruptions. One class in particular is incredibly challenging and it’s really starting to wear on me. I love what I do, in a general sense, but lately, I’m not happy to go to work. I dread the middle portion of my day in particular (tough class and then immediately into lunch duty). The highlights have been few and far between; I’m constantly disappointed in myself that I’m not doing a better job even though I know a lot of these struggles are bigger than me and my classroom. On top of that, I’ve had a bunch of not fun expenses crop up this week — a $2500 repair bill on my car, we had our septic tank pumped, and we’re trying to get a plumber in because our shower drain isn’t draining — and other adult shit3. All in, this week has been filled with an overwhelming number of stressors piling together.
I missed a week, so consider this two weeks of week notes.
Doing
I was dead sick this week; I missed three days of work to some kind of upper respiratory illness that’s going around the school. I haven’t been sick in months, so maybe that’s a part of it, but this genuinely kicked me on my ass, and my mom ingrained workaholic tendencies in me so severe that I feel guilty taking sick days. Alas, I am continuously humbled by the reality of existing in a human body.